My homophobia helped me understand racism
I remember the first time I saw two men kiss out in public. It was many years ago before LGBT became more socially acceptable. I was at the airport and there were these 2 guy with their arms around each other...I thought they were brothers. But it did seem a little strange how close they were and how long they stood there with their arm around each other. Compounding it was the fact that one guy was dressed like a business man, I thought at the time he looked like Captain America. The other guy had on a leather jacket and looked like he'd just gotten off a motorcycle. These looked like men with beautiful wives or girlfriends embracing after time apart...or that's what my stereotypical mind could perceive at that moment. Then it happened...they laughed....turned toward each other...looked in to each others eyes....and kissed. And we're not talking about your run of the mill peck, I'm talking day time soap opera kiss...and that moment was forever seared into my consciousness. At the time, I thought it was pretty gross...why would a man want to kiss or do anything else with a man? I still think that but I have grown to understand the difference between perspective and perception.
From my perspective as a heterosexual male, I perceive it as gross...from their perspective, it's completely normal. I have come to understand the many ways I feel angst toward it, there's my upbringing, my faith, my sexuality, and my conditioning. I accepted things should be a certain way and anything that runs counter to those beliefs is wrong. This is what I believe...even though God talks about freewill and not judging others, even though my parents instilled an upbringing in me that I consistently didn't see them adhere to, even with the inconsistency I experienced with sexuality and social behavior...even with all those question marks, I still believe what I believe. I have also come to understand how self righteous that is....and that's not always a good thing. The road to hell is paved with good intentions...and ideals.
I have come to see the correlation between my perception of the LBGT community and society's perception of me. The perception based on an ideal, stereotypical, lazy perspective that, through all the effort and promise I have shown in my life, I can not escape. Some people will have a lesser view of me due to my skin color as I have had a lesser of others due to their sexual orientation.
We still have some growing up to do. I have made an effort to understand my own phobia especially as it relates to others with values different than my own. I am responsible for myself but I know that my actions and thoughts can affect those around me. So I tell this story so that in my introspection, others will do the same.
From my perspective as a heterosexual male, I perceive it as gross...from their perspective, it's completely normal. I have come to understand the many ways I feel angst toward it, there's my upbringing, my faith, my sexuality, and my conditioning. I accepted things should be a certain way and anything that runs counter to those beliefs is wrong. This is what I believe...even though God talks about freewill and not judging others, even though my parents instilled an upbringing in me that I consistently didn't see them adhere to, even with the inconsistency I experienced with sexuality and social behavior...even with all those question marks, I still believe what I believe. I have also come to understand how self righteous that is....and that's not always a good thing. The road to hell is paved with good intentions...and ideals.
I have come to see the correlation between my perception of the LBGT community and society's perception of me. The perception based on an ideal, stereotypical, lazy perspective that, through all the effort and promise I have shown in my life, I can not escape. Some people will have a lesser view of me due to my skin color as I have had a lesser of others due to their sexual orientation.
We still have some growing up to do. I have made an effort to understand my own phobia especially as it relates to others with values different than my own. I am responsible for myself but I know that my actions and thoughts can affect those around me. So I tell this story so that in my introspection, others will do the same.
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